Part 5 : While I Was Dying In A Hospital Bed With Both Kidneys Failing, My Parents Burst Into My Room. Mom Threw Papers On My Lap And Demanded That I Hand Over My $250,000 Life Savings To My Brother. I Said, "No. This Is My Treatment Money." My Mother Flew Into A Rage, Ripped The Blood Pressure Monitor Off The Wall, And Smashed It Into My Head. I Pressed The Emergency Button, And Moments Later..
The day my kidneys finally failed started like every other day. I was at my desk by 6:00 a.m.
By noon, I couldn't keep water down. By three o'clock, my hands were trembling so violently I couldn't type on my keyboard. At 5:15 p.m., I stood up to hand a report to a junior associate, and the entire trading floor violently tilted sideways. The fluorescent lights blurred into a blinding white streak, and I hit the carpet.
The next thing I remember is waking up in a sterile room at New York-Presbyterian Hospital. The aggressive, rhythmic beeping of monitors surrounded me. My mouth felt like it was stuffed with dry cotton.
A nephrologist in a crisp white coat stood at the foot of my bed, reviewing an iPad. His expression was grim, possessing that specific medical detachment doctors use when delivering catastrophic news.
"Emily, you are in end-stage renal failure," he said, his voice flat.
I stared at him, the words bouncing off my foggy brain. "What? I... I just have the flu. I'm just dehydrated."
"Your kidneys are failing," he repeated softly, stepping closer. "Your creatinine levels are off the charts. We've run the tox screens and the blood panels twice. There is no mistake."
The room suddenly felt microscopic. The panic set in, but not the kind you'd expect. My first thought wasn't about death. My first thought was about my high-deductible health insurance plan, my out-of-pocket maximum, and whether HR would approve my FMLA leave.
How am I going to pay the mortgage? If I lose my job, I lose my insurance. If I lose my insurance, I die.
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The doctor sat beside me. "Without immediate, aggressive dialysis, and eventually a transplant, this is fatal. You're not going back to work anytime soon."
For the first time in my adult life, the spreadsheets in my head went blank. I was forced to look at my mortality.
